MY OLD POETRY :)

The other day I was cleaning out all the hoarded junk in my room when I came across my old diary. Upon reading it, it got me feeling all sentimental and proud. I really was a good writer when I was a youngin'...so I think, at least? It really showed me that I have always had a fondness for writing and more so for poetry. The pages are filled with creative and artistic literature that all developed from the depths of my 12 year old mind. My only fear is that over time I stopped writing poetry, and as a result I am scared that I will lose my flare for it. Anyways, I thought I would share some of my favourite poems I wrote in the diary-


The Night

I lay in my bed, eyes wide open. My eyes have gotten used to the dark. My room looks normal, the same as it would in the day except that the night changes it in a way. No longer does it feel safe and secure, but instead it's doors have been open. Open to the harshness of the night. It comes creeping in and spreads itself out covering all that I am used to, turning them into shapes and figures that taunt my mind and twist and play with it. The night always seems to get under my covers and smother me with its blackened arms. Thoughts flowing through my head like words flashing on a screen. It casts shadows everywhere leaving me alone and scared to figure them out. The shadows are real, they are the spawn of the darkness, the opposite of light; the things that make you think twice. What fate shall I meet tonight?

Funnily enough I am STILL not comfortable being alone in the dark, and I think that that fear is an object of my superstition and the many horror films I have scarred my brain with. :) This poem also shows that I have always struggled to get to sleep. On average it takes me over an hour to fall asleep every night. I dread sleep. I'd much rather be awake all the time... strange huh?

The Truth

Love is Love,
everyone feels it.
Freedom is freedom,
everyone dreams it.
War is war,
everyone fears it.
Family is family,
everyone needs it.
Death is death,
be not afraid of it.

I think the above poem is my favourite. I just love its simplicity and honesty. The words are the truth and today I still have the same sentiments.

More recently, for Mother's Day this year I wrote my mum a poem rather than give her a generic run-of-the-mill card, although those do always come in handy too!

Mother

I love you more than words can express. You are the light that brightens my soul and the angel that protects me from harm. Your warmth, kindness, and loyalty ignite within me an adoration you deserve. When I look at you it is with the strongest respect. Your words are my wisdom, your strength my motivation and your happiness my fulfilment. Mum I love you.

Anyways hope you enjoy my poems.

xxxx

CURRENT'S LIST.

song on repeat: sia - soon we'll be found.
obsession: robert pattinson!!
tv show: Skins.
website: faceboook.
food: home-baked goods :)
reading: re-reading Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer.
article of clothing: black leotard. and black genie pants. long wooly scarfs.
movie: The Hangover... so fucking funny.
excited for: the weekenddddd.
wants: a pair of winter boots, a winter coat and a new handbag! and a copy of The Host by Stephanie Meyer.
venue: wheelers thursdays.
drink: mcdonald's frozen coke.
goals: to have successfully passed trimester one of University, to spend more time with friends and to hopefully work more in order to earn more!

REST IN PEACE MICHAEL JACKSON.

R.I.P MJ
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

You will never be forgotten. Your spirit will always live on through your amazing music.
You inspired millions, you captivated the world. You are the undisputed king of pop.
You dance like no-one else, you were special and unique. Your sound so thrilling and memorable.
Long live Prince Michael.
xxxx

INSANE MEGA BLOG POST!!

Wowza. I never stick to something huh.. it's been ages since I have posted and well a lot of fun stuff has happened in that time.. so this blog is going to be mega BIG and is going to be filled of lots of fantastical and maybe not so exciting news! :)

PUSSY CAT DOLLS CONCERT.
okay so last Tuesday (26th May) I attended the PCD concert with my cousin Sharon. Firstly it was a nightmare to find parking.. I am definitely the type of person who has to watch a concert from the VERY START.. i'm talking about seeing the opening act and everything and if I miss it I get upset. So anyways we found a park and got in just in time. As you know Lady Gaga was the opener and she was amazing. That women sounds just as good live.. even better. She plays the piano too. I mean yeah I love her songs and I think she is genuinely talented but to me she comes across as trying far too hard. Some of the things she was saying was just beyond absurd. For example whilst on stage she said something along the lines of "People say Lady Gaga is a lie." the sound of a thousand tween fans can be heard booing around the arena.. "Lady Gaga is a lie... but I will KILL to make it the truth" to which the tweens erupt in cheering. And then it dawns on me.. WOW everyone is sheeps.. do they realise that she is talking murder hello don't people realise that they are condoning the act of killing. Ah she is definitely one crazy and slightly f*****-up woman.

After her show I was very excited to see PCD because although they are quasi-stripper-whores I do find their music very light-hearted fun that you enjoy singing along to and bopping with. Unfortunately for us there was only four dolls there.. one (jessica) was sick. but it was funny cause it didnt make much difference since the only really needed member of the group is Nicole who by the way is even more stunning in person. Anyway the concert was just as it was supposed to be fun, sexy and great! I loved it. I love concerts because nothing beats a good concert atmosphere. :)
MTV MOVIE AWARDS 2009 RECAP.
The awards this year were completely and utterly TWI-CRAZY. Twilight won 5 out of 7 of its nominations including Best Kiss, Best Breakthrough Male Performance, Best Female Performance, Best Fight and Best Movie. It is clear that twi mania has spread like swine-flu (haha pun intended) around the world and most importantly we got to see the first glimpse of the New Moon trailer which might I add looks INSANELY GOOD. I can tell that I am going to need to bring some kleenex for the break-up scene since Im a whiny little bitch! Oh and one of the girls at the Rpattz IMDB message board picked up on this funny little detail from the trailer:




Seems that Bella is trying to win over Jacob with some saucy new pink underwear ;)

The host of this years awards, Andy Samberg, is hilarious, seriously love The Lonely Island. Although I must admit that the show could have been a lot more funny.. I personally think. Oh and can anyone clarify if the Bruno/Eminem debarcle was a stunt or was it unplanned? Eminem seemed pretty pissed. Also does anyone else have a strong detest for Megan Fox. Lately she has been so cringe-worthy and at the awards it only proved this right.. that girl needs to get off her high-horse and realise that the only reason she is big in hollywood is because she was a)in transformers and b)looks like a sluttier less classy version of angelina jolie!

Lol okay so aside from that little rant.. Rpattz was looking his usual beautiful dishevelled self and poor baby didn't even do his buttons up properly. I'll admit that I am completly biased because it doesn't even bother me.. I think he looks adorkable!


ADVENTURELAND.
Yesterday I went and saw Adventureland in the cinemas... and I LOVED it. It was great. The film is a like a sweet teen romantic comedy with a slight seriousness and an undercurrent indie-type vibe. This film features Kristen Stewart and the loveable hunk-a-spunk Ryan Reynolds.. who Kristen gets to frequently make out with!!! Anyway the film is a really great story that I would be happy to see again. Kristen was amazing in it, she captured her character 'Em' so beautifully that as a viewer you feel emotionally attatched to Em and really feel for her. The movie shows how sometimes you are so un-used to feeling any kind of love and when love comes your way you are so afraid of losing it that you turn your back on it. Great movie everyone should go see it!

My fingers are starting to hurt and its 2:33AM so I think it's time I called it quits. :) Til next time my loves, xxxx

Has turned 19.. UGHHHHH

The time has finally come... I have turned 19. Look I know it's not OLD or a big deal.. but this means that I am no longer 18. And what a great time 18 is. Becoming 18 is a major right of passage: you can legally drink, drive, go clubbing, the year you finish school, and the age you are when you start your first year of Uni. So for me a lot has happened in the past year, and I honestly think I have grown both mentally and in terms of my maturity.

Looking back on my 19 years of existence I can safely say that I have had a an amazing life, a privileged life and a life full of opportunities.

For my birthday I got some awesome gifts.. one of my favourite in particular was a make-up book. Its such an amazing book with awesome photographs and details on how to get the perfect eye-look, MY FAVOURITE IS OF COURSE SMOKEY EYES!! ^-^

I have always dreamed of being a make-up artist, and maybe one day that can happen!!

Untilllllllll next time my loveee, CIAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Xxx

THE OC

Okay so we have owned the dvd set of the first season of the OC since approximately 2006. Anyways the dvd has just been staring at me from its un-used bottom shelf position in the dvd cabinet. Yesterday since I had an awful amount of spare time... and since I never use my spare time in anyway productive (which of course is how I like to spend it: procrastinating) I decided "HEY LETS WATCH THE OC!!". So I took the dvd set and sat and watched the first 4 episodes on my own. And guess what? .... It was great! I love the OC. Because it has been like what 3 whole years since I last saw it, I had completely forgotten everything and it was like watching it from the beginning again.

Pretty much the first thing I see on screen is a VERY fashion-forward Ryan wearing a tight white tee, a grey unzipped hooded jumper and over that a black leather jacket with the grey hood peeping out over it.. not to mention a tight black rope necklace around his neck.. and boy did he look good (see below)! So I was all like stunned because my theory is.. and is continually proven in modern American sitcoms, is that Teen America dress HORRIBLY.. outside of the Hills, everyone dresses trashy and cheap- flare jeans, tight bright coloured tops, think the film THIRTEEN. But bear in mind that aside from Ryan everyone else on the OC also dressed like complete NOOBS!

Okay so yea, I have a new-found... or rekindled (I can't remember) crush on the character Ryan played by Benjamin Meckanzie (what happened to all these OC actors.. fallen off the face of the hollywood LA scene?). It must be something about that badboy-Justin Bobby thing he's got going on.. is anyone else attracted to a guy who can deffend himself.. mmm reow?? On the other hand.. Mishca Barton actually loooked really pretty as a fresh-faced young Marissa.. and now in pap photos it looks like heavy drinking/drug taking can have a very profound affect on appearance.. she kinda looks worn out these days.

Anyways the OC rocks. I never ever got to watch all the season so here we begin with another Jess obsession.. along with One Tree Hill, Nip/Tuck and True Blood.

By now you can tell my posts are random and infrequent. And also of very boring and unappealing things. My life is routine and boring so I appologise. :) But someone out there will enjoy this.. at least I hope.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *waves*

DRUNK.

oh wow. Jess is drunkkkkkkk. like bvery drunk. ikeep presing the wrong buttons. okay so i went ot wheelers as usual. evbery thursday night occurance. however this aprticular thurrsday i ihave drunk alot. like... three elevates (1.9 standard drinks each) and one double black smirnogff and one normal vodka cruiser. i am still drunk at 2:36 am an dmy head is spinning and i hoep i wont be dutnrk for uni tomorow.. or tather later today.

but i have come to the conclusion that a drunk jess is not a good jess. generally (and all my clsoe friends particularly no this) when i am drunk i speak my mind- "drunk words are sober thoughts". and this tends to get me into pickles.. i.e i say things that shouldnt really be said that create awkward moments. for example "blah blah I HATE HER blah blah" or "blah blah I CANT BELIEVE YOU DO THAT blah blah YOUR A FOOL blah blah NO ONE LIKES YOU blah blah". Like honestly who am I to say such things. the thing is when i get immensly drunk i lose my brain filter and everything i have ever wanted to say just spills out of my mouth like offensive verbal vomit. I just say what i think and feel and as such the things i say are not necessarily kind or nice. So i have come to the conclusion that in order to STOP embarasing my self and STOP making a fool of myself i should STOP drinking. drinking is bad. dont get me wrong i obviously LOVE alcohol but it is bad it turns me into a person i don't wanna be. i'm sick of saying things that i end up regretting .. or saying things that people go "OH NO SHE REALLY SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAT". so to all the people i have embarassed or offended i say to you SORRY.. sory i said what i said.. sorry i meant it.. and sorry that it made you feel guilty, uncomfortable or belittled. you didnt deserve it and I sure as hell don't have a right to say such things.

From now on I am going to make a concsious effor to stop drinking and to take more responsibility of myself and my actions.

That is all .. thanks for reading. now if only my head would stop ringing.. BLEHHH.

PEACE.. xxx